This morning I am thinking about the last several years and the changes that have happened in my life. These thoughts came to me as a result of how I felt after a blind date I experienced on Friday evening. Luckily the gal who I know from my Curves class was also there with her husband. I'm not saying the guy was a total ditz but let's just say he was kind of a drip. No personality...maybe he was just nervous. There was no attraction there. My friend and her husband were very chatty and I joined in but I was glad when the meal was over. I went directly over to Adam's house and got hugs and kisses from my grandchildren. I wasn't sad, but I realized something when I was finally laying in my bed. I'm happy! I truly am! No, I still struggle financially. I have to work extra jobs and may have to add another, but I get to come home to me and I like me. I have 7 wonderful children and their spouses and families who bring me great joy! I have great friends who love and care about me. I have a job where I feel I make a difference and no one is waiting to pounce on me for perceived or real mistakes. I'm cared about as an individual in all aspects of my life. I don't need a boyfriend or a husband to give me that.
There are going to be a lot of changes this year. In fact, they've already begun. Taylor graduated from high school and will be leaving the nest to go to college and then a mission. Whitney will be become a mommy in November. Cheri will graduate next week from college and get married in September. Adam's family is trying to find more permanent digs where their children can run and play in a real back yard. David and Ashley will finish some things in Rexburg after they return from their Alaska adventure and get on with pharmacy school. Andrew and Cameron...well that story has yet to be written but I can see that they are working toward something big!!!
This being said, I'll be living alone for the first time in my entire life. It will be weird but happily I have people in my life who I can always call on and make plans and be with. My BFF the last 5 years and I will be going to Las Vegas in August to celebrate her 40th birthday and see "The Phantom of the Opera." I'm so glad she wants me to be with her for that special day.
When my husband of 23 years finally called it quits, I thought I'd never be happy again. But my idea of happiness in those days was distorted. I didn't realize that I had been alone in my marriage for a very long time and it took some counseling, prayer and time to heal. I am very grateful for my mom and for my brother Frank who got me through some very difficult times and for their continued support.
My children are my rock. I try not to interfere too much in their lives and let them live but I do so enjoy being with them and I'm glad that when I show up at Jessica and Adam's they always let me in and let me be a part of their family. Their children are such precious people and I enjoy hearing their little voices and kissing and hugging them. I have long talks with with Cheri and Whitney and love to hear what they are doing. Taylor is a great guy to have in the house, even though it's getting less and less. He's been such a joy to me.
Well, no more ranting, although it is good for the soul. Always remember that our Heavenly Father is our friend and wants to bless us. Remember to be thankful every day for all we have and not fuss about what we don't have.
I'll photos and more things to share after next week when I return from Portland and seeing my daughter, Cheri graduate from Portland State with a Math degree!
See the blessings keep mounting!